December 2008
1 post
Dear Williamsburg,
Why did you break my car window a few weeks ago when I parked in your neighborhood? It was on the sidewalk side of the car, so it was definitely a malicious act against my 1990 Toyota Corolla and not an accidental side swipe! I’ve parked all over the city for almost two decades and you were the first to break my car mirror (although someone did smash a window in Park Slope once, wtf). Feel...
November 2008
9 posts
Dear Williamsburg,
If you think your cool and live in Williamsburg you probably aren’t. Many people think tight pants are lame. I think anyone who claims they are from anywhere is lame, and that includes gang members. Williamsburg is nothing but a place to live with shops. Lame shops. I generally think NYC is lame when people try to make it cool. In fact NYC is kind of dirty and smells, but has a lot of nice...
Dear Williamsburg,
“Being cynical is FUN, and it gets you pussy, but that’s not the same thing as it being an actionable worldview that makes you smart and helps the world get fixed…As far as the actual, important, REAL issues are concerned, your cynisism is as useless as a hippie’s blonde dreads - and from now on, it is obsolete. Obama has proven you gay.” (via)
Dear Williamsburg,
I am fed up with your righteousness and smug demeanor. You contribute nothing to the neighborhood and piss off everyone around you except your own. The only thing you’re good for is a first fare in my yellow cab at 4:30 in the morning after leaving my garage. Your drunken ass will somehow navigate me through the slums of Bushwick (NOT EAST WILLIAMSBURG) to the warehouse you set up shop in. I...
Dear Williamsburg,
Even the NYTimes is adding their two cents.
Fred Irons, 74, a Korean War veteran, spends much of his days sitting on a step in the ground-floor hallway of his building on Bedford Avenue with Jerry Treck, 86, who lives around the corner. The two men were born and raised in Williamsburg, and said they missed the tightly knit community that once defined the place. “I just don’t like it,” Mr. Irons...
Dear Williamsburg,
Dear WHAT-(TF)-burg!? I think its great people write you such pleasant malfeance (my ego says that’s the wrong word but your tacky site desires me to leave it in order to stump the self-proclaimed erudite). Is it possible another area of New York achieved independence from the entire world. Does “w’burg” (all insult included between Dierde’s four marks on a page)...
Dear Williamsburg,
dear w’burg, you’re okay. so what if you have a chip on your shoulder the width of the east river. i don’t mind. it’s cute. esp when you wear it with neon
Dear Williamsburg,
As I was crossing the street on Bedford and n.6 last week, you sped by me on your bicycle after narrowly missing me and others, angrily yelling at me, “don’t just stand there! move! I’m the one in control here! I’ll move around you! Fucking asshole fuck you!” and you continued to speed down the street threatening me that you’ll bash my head in. I was admittedly,...
